Intermission IV: postcountdown: hail, 2010.

a private joke to share with a certain lecturer's students: does the wording of my post title sound familiar? XD

y'all know who she is.

just yesterday afternoon someone i know well (and who probably knows me better than i like) told me, 'you're still young, go enjoy!' when i made a face and said i aint a big fan of clubbing.

'fun'=clubbing? maybe in your glitzy world, not mine. (so said from yours truly's own personal experience last new year's countdown after getting splashed with beer and squeezed off a dance floor by a grind-happy couple =.=)

a bit silly to ask, but i'm wondering what i'll be getting out of this year?

nice lecturers, definitely (especially after that fiasco last semester). and nice team mates (also after several fiascos last semester). and nice assignments (still from that fiasco last semester). and more good books. more new discoveries, more...

heck, when did this turn into a wishlist?

i wonder how many roadblocks there'll be this time? the beginning of this year signifies several endings for me; endings that're coming all too soon. unfortunately also, my head's swimming with ideas and sort-of plans i'd dearly love to carry out, except for the buts... never mind. i'm rambling.

for once, i dont have much to say, anymore. just that, at this moment, i'm only aware of a strangely positively, optimistic bent in my demeanor, something sweet and warm, something full of hope and lightness, and right now, its lifting me up high, higher than i should be for someone who'd liken facing the unknown to standing on the edge of a precipice on tippytoes (and who'd view the ravine with trepidation).

oh, and that warm, sweet feeling? its called Faith.

Intermission III: there you go, 2oo9.

its with a warm feeling that i remember the night before of the last new year, so ripe with expectations, so full of promise.

has it truly been a good year?

looking back at a day a year from now, scattered pieces have been glued back, some preserved like the treasures they are, more've been broken, or are cracked and close to breaking. will those be able to tahan till next year? we'll see.

these last months, there've been days where life was so bleak i simply wanted to curl up and shrink into the walls, melt into the floor, times when fury nearly got the better of me and turned me into a monster, and had lots of pebbles i tripped over and felt like taking a sledgehammer to, or shrews i'd have happily have tossed into a cellar and locked away.

having said that, it can be quite sharp a jolt, looking into and around yourself, and finding you dont like what you see. and quite a wake up call it was.

still, i'll take the bad with the good. as far as vision goes, its definitely clearer than its been in the entire 21 years of my living. Not just that, found lots of new fun to indulge in, gone through some pretty whacky and bizzare episodes, all of which total up to some very satisfying moments; had more files and stuff chucked into my long term memory, and i hope they're there to stay, even if i cant manage to lug them back up front. its enough knowing its stored somewhere in those folds of neurons.

for better or for worse, its also taken this year for me to finally comprende that certain fears're simply unfounded, and that sometimes the easiest way to beat a demon is just to close my eyes, have faith in the Father above and take a nice big leap. and for that, i thank Him, for the little bites of insight He's given me, for all the peace of mind that He filled my heart with, for every prayer He granted, for the strength He's given me through those genuine companions He's given me.

also, there're someone elses i would thank, for all the patience shown me, all the short tempers put up with, all the trouble i've given. you, you and you, you mean just about the world to this child who's still finding her footing in this world.

yes. i've grown up, and not just only a little bit more. wish me luck in growing up another bit more.

oh, one final thing... isnt it funny how a grown-up still needs to have grown up in order to be considered grown up? sorry, i couldnt resist one last bit of wordplay. ;)

Happy New Year, everybody!

P.S to all those who've left this world, i pray that you may find peace and solace in the world you're in now, whichever one you believe in. May God be with you always.

Chapter Twenty Three: Deep, Deep, Deep As A Pavement Puddle.

Deep are the thoughts you have in your head
To buy, to spend, to splurge on that dress?

Deeper are they up in your mind
Should I, should I not, oh, I digress!

Deep they are in the back of your brain
Can I wear it once, or twice, or thrice?

Again you think, in the recess of your head
I was so close to buying it, to be precise

Here and there, its right in your mind
If I wear it once, can I do it again and again?

Such deep thoughts flit all over your brain
They torture, they flutter, they drive me insane

(Ah, i see.)

(If these are the thoughts that you call deep,)

*shakes head*

(I guess intellect just isn't something you bother to keep.)

Chapter Twenty Two: The Quack Crow of Teachin'.

This one is based on the song 'Phony King of England' from Disney's Robin Hood, played on the blog. Sing along, if you want.

O the world would sing
Of an ancient queen
In all the years from now
And all because she made her law
Whilst acting like a crow
While bonny good Sir Galahad yon
He leads the fight along
For her we've had to slave away
With naught to show but yawns
The Incredible that she is: inept
Thus in memories she will be kept
And so we call her the quack old crow of teachin'

A POX on the quack old crow of teachin'!

Too late to be known as one of the first
We sure do know her as top of the worst

A POX on the quack old crow of teachin'!

While she tires us to pieces
And she robs of of our wits
Her name and fame
Are further maimed
And puddle at her feet, aha!
But while she makes some merry men
In the world of limp wee minds
We'll find a way to shake her away
And peace of mind to find

She may come to hear of this..............................

Hah! Its a chance I hope not to miss!



I apologize to the writer of the original lyrics for mangling his well written words. But you see, yours were so well done that i felt compelled to use them as a template for my own rant against a tyrant.

Chapter Twenty One: le Pompadous.

Once upon a nose up high
There was a little man
He fancied himself a giant
As much as a hot air balloon can

Airs he effects to distraction
Diverting from his uncouth pride
To Arum maculatum he grovels
And pushes the Calotropis aside

Look about him the glitter
He sees not honest steel
Only shiny shimmery estincele
Fie! He sees not what is real

What goes up, will soon roll down
At the end of its glorified days
And I hope ‘twill be, that he’ll come to see
The end of such erroneous ways.

Chapter Twenty One: Birds Flock Together, Not Of A Feather.

I sat there watching
Bright hope, shining stars
And I feel so empty
I haven’t gone that far

And I watch your talents
I know, I have none
And I feel so empty
Only doing things for fun

Why is there a chasm
Over which I stand
Never only on either bank
One foot in both lands

Fiery words all
I’ve heard them before
Set fire on dry kindling
To inspire us more

Where, where
Is the recognition
That strong sense of pride
Why, why only confusion?

Where should I be
In this vast space on earth
Fit into a pigeon hole
Prepared from my birth?

Tell me why I feel lost then
When flocking a-feather
Why I am separated
Even as I stand together

Where are my roots
Neither here nor there
Please, someone tell me
Someone, just tell me where...

Chapter Twenty: That's All It Takes.

I

What nuances, so subtle
Teaches us to presume
That a visage affixed will stay in place
The intensity daily resume

II

That one look, one glance
And so ever more
Enough, to mesmerize
A thousand times more than before
Just then, how it struck me
Such beauty on a profile
I have seen so often
That to me it was hidden for a little while

III

Look you there, blind as a mole
You could not see beyond your tunnel
Or the world as a whole
And when it whispered to me
I replied gladly
And from there
Does my story unfold.

Chapter Nineteen: It's Ashamed I Am of You.

It's ashamed, ashamed
Ashamed I am of you
That you could do such a thing
And to your comrade too
Tis sad, just sad
Sad I am to see
Such conduct from a child
Who shares a race with me
It's despair, despair
Despair I feel to think
That at your tender age
You've tied unsavoury links
It's time, nigh time
Many do agree
What monsters are we creating;
Open your eyes and see!

Chapter Eighteen: It All Died With You.

It all died with you
The sun and hills and all
When you went so suddenly
Their world did crash and fall

So much joy you brought
And sorrow in your wake
The floods of tears we wept
No less than for your sake

Once upon your lifetime
The stage was at your feet
While you played with melodies
Made wide margins meet

Now that you have gone
Leaving us mere memories
A legend in your time
And in future legacies

May you live on forever
In the bright star of your name
Revered for your raison d'etre,
The true reason for your fame.


Rest in peace, Michael, King of Pop. The world laments for you.

Chapter Seventeen: From Hence and Before

A thousand years ago
I believed in forevermore
Where one thought not of endings
Or aught farewells ever before

A hundred years ago
Still the world was sweet
Vast, wide a playground
Never did bleakness meet

A century ago
A child no longer small
Whence came the cripples
That forces me still to crawl?

A century from now
Will I yet be crawling
Tied together, my steps
Or shields withstand mauling

A hundred years later
If rosy it no longer be
Whence has it changed
What doth yon innocent see?

A thousand years hence
Will I be yet alive
Gone or living
In spirit or in life?